Summary

For homework, students read about distinctions between passive and active voice (in this case, in Mightier than the Sword by G. Edward Good). They bring a 300-500 word rough draft to class of a Memo to the Court in response to a particular legal scenario. After some guided practice recognizing and evaluating passive voice sentences in a sample student Memo to the Court written in a previous class, the instructor asks students to break up their rough drafts into separate sentences on their computers and examine each sentence in turn. Students proceed to change some of their more repetative actives into passives, while in other cases they change passives to actives.

 

Target Courses I observed this lesson in a UWP 104B Legal Writing course, although it has wide application in other UWP courses.	Amount of Time Required The lesson took the full 80 minutes of class time.
Software You’ll Use Word, and possibly the Classroom Dropoff Folder.	Prep Before class, the instructor should read over the homework material on distinctions between passive and active voice in the accompanying text (in this case, Mightier Than the Sword by G. Edward Good, chapters 4 and 7), and either locate an old student paper containing passive and active voice examples, or borrow the actual example that was used in the class I observed (see below).

LESSON PLAN

Background

Students arrive in class with the rough draft of a 300-500 word Memo to the Court written in response to a particular legal scenario. They have also read about passive and active voice distinctions (in this case, in Mightier Than the Sword by G. Edward Good, chapters 4 and 7).

Tip: If you want to make sure that students have brought a completed assignment to class, make a dropoff subfolder and ask them to drop off the assignment before proceeding to make changes to the rough draft on their computer screens. You can then also ask for them to drop off the changed rough draft at the end of class in another dropoff subfolder.

 

Step 1: With the Class, the Instructor Reviews a Sample Memo to the Court

The instructor begins by putting a sample Memo to the Court on the overhead projector. The sample was written by a student in a previous class. The instructor asks students to drag the sample document to their desktops from the pickup folder. Students then read the memo on their own screens.

STUDENT SAMPLE

Memorandum of Points and Authorities in Support of a Motion of Summary Judgment. for Bill Barnes v. Metro Office Management We propose that this case is worthy only of dismissal. In Angels v. Devils, the court expressed the opinion that in the case of a child, obligation to protect extends beyond verbal warning. Given that Mr. Barnes is an adult, nothing more than a verbal warning was required. This view is supported by Lang v. Durant. In that case, the court decided that had the Plaintiff, an adult, received verbal warning, the Defendant would have not been held liable. Metro Office Management provided more than a verbal warning by posting a written sign. This sign was already in place the day before the accident. In Litmus v. Test, it was decided that a previously posted sign was not “conspicuous” enough to catch the Plaintiff’s attention; however, the sign posted by the Defendant was more than twice the size of that posted in Test. Plaintiff had prior knowledge of the potential for harm from the wet floor, though it might appear that he did not, given his contradictory statements: He says first that the floor had “much water on it from the rain,” and second that he “didn’t really notice [the water].” Yet, if he did not notice it, how can he say there was “much water”? If he can describe it, he clearly saw the water. Both employees of Metro Office management noted the tendency of people to drip water on the floor in the vicinity of the elevator. Their observations, as well as Barnes’s, are confirmed by witness Shimoto’s observation that “the floor was really wet in the lobby.” In Angles, the Plaintiff was repeatedly made aware of the danger, but because he was child, the court ruled in his favor. Plaintiff in this case is not a child. As he was clearly aware of the danger, his injuries are the result of his own actions, not the Defendant’s negligence. In both Angels and Lang, the hazardous condition was the result of deteriorating conditions: the “weak” tree branches and the “old and rotten” stairs. The floor of Defendant’s building was not itself in poor condition. No needed repairs were procrastinated on. The Defendant’s employees undertook the all possible measures to address the conditions caused by the tenants of the building with wet coats and umbrellas, short of neglecting more serious damage occurring on the 12 th floor. It might be argued that the ‘dark’ quality of the floor is similar to the dark beam overhanging the narrow passsageway in Litmus, except that that case was decided for the Plaintiff on the basis of how conspicuous the warning sign was. As we have already observed, Defendant’s sign was more than twice as large and therefore adequate. Because Defendant took adequate measures to warn Plaintiff, and because, as an adult, Plaintiff can be expected to exercise due caution based on personal observation and written warning, the accident and the injuries that resulted were not due to negligence on the part of the Defendant.

For five to ten minutes after they have all read the memo, students comment on the merits of the memo and talk briefly about how they wrote their own memos for today’s assignment (for a different legal scenario than the one above).

Step 2: The Instructor Uses the Sample to Distinguish Effective and Ineffective Uses of Passive Voice

Next the instructor breaks up a paragrpah of the sample Memo to the Court on the overhead screen into its individual sentences.

She asks students to recall their reading in Good on when to use passive voice. She then picks a sample sentence: “in that case the court decided.” She bolds and underlines decided as an example of active voice. The second half of the sentence, however, is an example of an effective and appropriate use of passive voice: “the defendent would not have been liable.”

Next, the instructor points out an expletive: “It was decided that.” She argues it is less effective than it could be. Seeking another example, she bolds the phrase, “It might be argued,” and asks who might do the arguing?

Students begin to recognize and discuss the subtle differences in tone and implication among these phrasings.

Finally, the instructor returns to “would not have been held liable” and argues that because it indicates tense, the verb forms used are necessary. She reminds students that passive voice is not automatically bad, pointing out that the author’s mentioning the court twice here is ineffective. She says, “If you’re repeating the phrase over and over again, try passive voice.”

Step 3: Students Comb through Their Own Drafts Identifying Uses of Passive and Active Voice

Instructions: “Now open your draft on the screen and change some of your repetative actives to passives; or, if you use many passives, change a few to active.” She then circulates and looks at everyone’s screen and answers questions.

The class is mostly finished in twenty to thirty minutes.

Tip: Given enough time, students might get up and trade computers repeatedly to check each others’ work, noting any missed derivative nouns and suggesting more effective verbs.